tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post2001637482053641886..comments2023-10-28T23:27:11.116+11:00Comments on the rachel papers: The ethics of writing about those we loveRachel Powerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076347414401820489noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-48539549647887460092009-04-29T23:42:00.000+10:002009-04-29T23:42:00.000+10:00Hi,
I've posted further thoughts on this post @
ht...Hi,<br />I've posted further thoughts on this post @<br />http://lingofranko.blogspot.com/2009/04/reflection-on-rachel-papers-post.html<br /><br />Thanks DDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05483212166356412701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-15423906240153771082009-04-27T02:09:00.000+10:002009-04-27T02:09:00.000+10:00This is such an interesting topic. I write about m...This is such an interesting topic. I write about my family in my journal, as I feel much of what I am comes back to them. I've been thinking about writing certain things in my blog, but I don't want to hurt them. At the same time, this makes me feel that I can't let go of many feelings... it's a difficult one. <br />PS. Thanks for following!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04371082850268120153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-61149501586083341232009-04-15T14:21:00.000+10:002009-04-15T14:21:00.000+10:00Thank you, in many ways.
DThank you, in many ways.<br /><br />DDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05483212166356412701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-18591715018370941362009-04-12T13:25:00.000+10:002009-04-12T13:25:00.000+10:00This is such an interesting topic, and I think bec...This is such an interesting topic, and I think becoming more and more - well, relevant and maybe irrelevant too, in this age of blogging. Will Gen Zs wonder why we make such a fuss about it, or will they revert back to more privacy?<BR/><BR/>I am beginning to be conscious about writing on my blog about Liam, who is now seven. Dawn (thiswomanswork.com) said that some of her 11-year-old son's friends read blogs, including (bizarrely) the mommy-blogs. I have avoided almost completely writing about my sister's infertility and (completely) about my Dad's cancer - despite the fact that especially the latter has of course had an effect on me. But they are both private people and I've respected that.<BR/><BR/>However, that isn't to say I always will. In a life writing unit I did at uni a few years back I wrote about the period in my life when my parents separated (I was 6). I interviewed both parents for the project as well as both my siblings, and let all of them read it before I submitted it (not that I promised to change anything) (and note, this was submission for assessment at uni, not for publication). My Dad got upset about the inclusion of his (long past) girlfriend's real name and thought perhaps he shouldn't have talked to me about it at all. I pointed out that actually I hadn't included *anything* that he had told me that I hadn't already known.<BR/><BR/>I have never submitted the piece for publication, but some small damage was done to my relationship with my father. It made me realise that if I ever did write candidly about that time - or about anything to do with my father - it would likely be very detrimental to our relationship. And for the moment, that's enough to stop me. But it also saddens me, because if I wait until he had died, I will not longer have his perspective to add to my truths.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, long and rambley post and I really should be studying. But thanks for making me think some.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-84750043832676804082009-04-11T22:40:00.000+10:002009-04-11T22:40:00.000+10:00That is such a massive thing to be absorbing, on e...That is such a massive thing to be absorbing, on every level I imagine. Especially as a mother yourself. There is such a blurred line between our lives and those around us, and while writing about other people's lives is tricky territory, surely we all have a right to our own stories, and our own experience. Don't we? Particularly when it comes to our own mothers, where the relationship is so intense and internal--so much a part of us. I can imagine that writing about a mother's suicide, for example, might be vital in coming to grips with such a trauma. And it is when we are at our most truthful and open, that we really touch others and give them a deep sense of solace and relief. In this way, to write is a hugely generous act. I always loved Anais Nin's statement that if you are willing to turn the same cold hard lense on yourself that you use in describing others, then it can only be seen as fair. I hope at some point, D., the need overtakes the fear.Rachel Powerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18076347414401820489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-46775737351245190822009-04-10T21:59:00.000+10:002009-04-10T21:59:00.000+10:00HI,I just deleted my original comment because of a...HI,<BR/>I just deleted my original comment because of a type-oh.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Hello,<BR/><BR/>This is an interesting topic. My mother took her own life two.5 years ago and I used to write about it. I was cornered by an ignorant family member for writing about my mother on my blog. I deleted it.<BR/><BR/>Now I don't write about it any more. Not even on my computer. I wanted to write about it more, but I stopped. I stopped because, even though she isn't here, if I were ever to focus and aim to publish my account of her story I fear my tarnishing of her memory.<BR/><BR/>Yet ... I feel as silenced by her memory as I did by her presence. I wonder and fear that one day this (inner) dam will burst. And though I fear it, I suspect I have nothing to fear and more to give by writing about my dear, poor mother's dilemma.<BR/><BR/>Truths hurts. Written words last forever. Truths can change...um.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for posting this topic. It's reminded me to remember to, at the very least, not bury My Truth along with my mother and her lies.<BR/><BR/>Toodle PipDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05483212166356412701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-46468935814314739482009-04-10T21:57:00.000+10:002009-04-10T21:57:00.000+10:00This comment has been removed by the author.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05483212166356412701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-31877912194770359492009-04-09T22:38:00.000+10:002009-04-09T22:38:00.000+10:00Oh yes this is quite a mine field... apart from my...Oh yes this is quite a mine field... apart from my blog I'm not a writer and I've managed to offend a family member unthinkingly with an off hand comment that I didn't even really mean! Oh well that will teach her to take me too seriously!!! As a reader, rather than a writer you often find elements of a character that you can relate, or situations, so I can imagine that it would mean there could be some pretty paranoid family members in your family tree if you were a writer who may read more into the character than you meant there to be! <BR/>I know my kids are generally pretty chuffed when I use them as subjects, even loosely for my art work.Red Hen (dette)https://www.blogger.com/profile/09620943527844246297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-56833068635246490912009-04-06T11:15:00.000+10:002009-04-06T11:15:00.000+10:00A difficult one indeed. I write in my diary about ...A difficult one indeed. I write in my diary about the family, as I am sure we all do (and I find myself editing there too). A lot of my writing about this so called thing called life is in my head. We have a situation in my household at the moment that is fodder for fiction (as much living with teens is). I'll follow the link to the Myerson interview when I have a little more time. Thanks. I'll be watching to see what others write.Kate Moorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11731006032499344619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-50212855424651220332009-04-06T07:51:00.000+10:002009-04-06T07:51:00.000+10:00I'm not decided on this.But I suspect my position'...I'm not decided on this.<BR/><BR/>But I suspect my position's something like this: we write whatever we want, but be prepared for what we might sour or destroy.<BR/><BR/>And perhaps I'm a bit utilitarian about this: our work must be more important that whatever it is we ruin. <I>The Mandarins</I>. for example, was worth the irritated nerves of De Beauvoir's friends. <BR/><BR/>But If we're writing mediocre crap, perhaps we're just better off being kind and generous (and this goes for critics, too).<BR/><BR/>But, as I said: I'm undecided.Damon Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06421351032851052928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8128598650087737063.post-82382175706741248882009-04-06T00:02:00.000+10:002009-04-06T00:02:00.000+10:00I've been pondering this very question ... and was...I've been pondering this very question ... and was thinking about doing a post quite similar to this, vis a vis the whole Myerson debacle. <BR/><BR/>It's a tricky one - and, as you say, very hard to judge when your kids are small and haven't yet grasped what it means to have their private lives made public. My nine-year-old was recently very chuffed when a piece I wrote about him was published in an anthology, though I had been quite worried when he read it. I hope he feels the same way later.<BR/><BR/>On the other hand, there are family members and situations I would love to write about and can't. Frustrating.<BR/><BR/>I'm always minimising my screen when my husband comes into the room while I'm writing ...<BR/><BR/>Thanks for this. I'm curious to watch the discussion here. (ANd sorry for such a long comment!)Arielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17570339715916432947noreply@blogger.com