The poetry in the folding of laundry: have you discovered Lily Mae Martin?

I know I've been off the boil lately in the blogging department, but I've been conscious for a while that it would be utterly remiss of me not to let Divided Heart readers know about the extraordinary Lily Mae Martin.

If you haven't already discovered this impressive woman on your virtual travels, Lily is an Australian artist who has been living in the UK and Berlin over the past few years. But she has recently returned to Melbourne, as she discusses in her piece in the latest issue of Kill Your Darlings, "Kids in Berlin: Motherhood and Friendship".

I never ceased to be amazed by Lily's talent and creative output. Not only is she is mind-blowingly prolific in her main gig as a visual artist (I have no idea when this woman sleeps!) but she also maintains a blog, Berlin Domestic, full of searingly honest outpourings about the rocky creativity/parenting/partnering path.

As she has said: "Life as a parent is not what I expected. In retrospect I'm not sure what I had in mind, but I guess I thought that sometime after having my baby I would return to life and to work – that things would resume as normal only with the addition of a baby. This however was not the case.

"Then one day I thought – why not draw it? Why not write about it? There's a poetry in the folding of laundry, the sweeping of floors. An art in the food splatters and the cooking of countless meals."

Lily diarisies her days, churning out hundreds of sketches depicting scenes in the cafes and domestic spaces of everyday life. If this didn't keep her busy enough, though, she is also building a substantial body of meticulously rendered paintings, drawings and illustrations, the detail of which just blow me away. Hyper-realist in style but with something far darker and dramatic lurking beneath the surface, her works that simultaneously encompass the the beauty and brutality of existence.

Lily is a rare artistic talent. She is also rare in her openness and eloquence about the impact of parenting not only on her day-to-day life and art, but also on her relationship, her sexuality, her identity and her psyche.

I hope she inspires you as much as she does me.

Hearts universally divided around the world

You may remember that a while back I wrote a post about a new documentary Lost in Living, being made by filmmaker Mary Trunk about "the messy intersection of motherhood and artistic expression".

It never ceases to amaze me how universal the feelings are when it comes to the dilemmas women feel about combining their own creative needs and the needs of their children.

Like my approach with The Divided Heart, Mary took her own fears and confusion and sought out other women who might be feeling the same way. If you watch the trailer on her website (or below), you can already see what a powerful and touching film it's going to be.



In a lovely post Mary has just written about my book, she writes that because "Rachel was willing to be open herself, the women she interviewed opened up as well." Though we don't see Mary on camera, it's clear that the very same is true of her. Her subjects really let her in and, as a result, the footage is heartwarming and heartbreaking in equal measure.

Mary now has a rough cut of her film ready and she has launched a Kickstarter Campaign to raise the funds she needs to complete and promote her film. She needs backers, and every dollar counts. But all forms of support are welcome, whether it be a blog post or just a "like" on the film's facebook page.

And while I'm promoting amazing women, the link between Mary and I was British-born New Zealand photographer Parisa Taghizadeh, who contacted me after she read The Divided Heart. One of her recent projects is a series of portraits of women without their children, simply titled MOTHER.

Each image is a celebration of the individuality that, as she puts it, "gets pushed to the side and ignored after we take on our new role as mothers". It is astounding how potent and layered a seemingly straightforward portrait shot can be when you've added the label "mother", which has such strong cultural and personal connotations.

As I've just told Parisa, I've always been quietly fascinated with the question of whether you can tell if a woman has children just by looking at her. I can sometimes be a bit conceited in my belief that I can tell -- but have regularly been proven wrong!

Looking at her portraits, I was also reminded of how in those early days of parenting I so often longed to be alone, and then when I (rarely) was, I immediately wanted to let everyone I passed know that I was a mother. It had become such a strong point of pride and identity -- one I was more attached to that than I had realised.

Education: the case for equity over elitism

I wrote a piece for the MamaMia website, up today, about the future of education funding in Australia.
To me, it makes sense on every front to throw as much money as possible into giving all kids access to a top-notch education at their local school.

I find it particularly frustrating to see the campaign for greater education funding constantly sidelined by the debate about private versus public education.

This shouldn’t be about where you choose to educate your own kids. This is about equity and trying to do all we can to give every child a fighting chance at maximising their potential, no matter their background or the size of their parents' wallet.

In constantly banging on about "choice", we forget that choice is still a luxury for most. Does that mean kids from poorer families are less deserving of high-quality teaching and facilities?

At the end of the day, this is also about the kind of culture and community we want to create and be part of: one where we care about everyone's right to a great education, or one that urges individual families to "buy" their kids "the best". What would you prefer?

The Gonski Review has recommended a comprehensive change to the way our schools are funded — directing money toward those with the greatest need — and called for an extra $5 billion to be injected into schools as a matter of urgency.

But so far the Gillard Government has failed to act.

As parents, we have a potent stake in the future and the power to push for change on behalf of all kids. If this all makes sense to you, please register your support at I Give a Gonski.

Life and time...

It's been a long time...

If only time wasn't so finite. I wish I felt time was less my enemy and more my friend! But as it is, I feel that with every project or activity I turn my energy towards, I'm forced to let a whole lot of equally meaningful things slide.

But certain things trump all else. And for me lately this has been the needs of my beautiful daughter.

People have always described my daughter as special. She is a dreamer, with large eyes and a tendency to stare, which draw people in. But now I look back and realise that when people called her "special" they might have been seeing more than they, or I, knew.

In the past year or so I have entered this whole new territory of having a "special-needs" child. My little girl's issues are mild compared to many, but they still require huge amounts of time and energy from my partner and I to help keep her engaged with learning.

It's all been a bit of a shock, admittedly, after having a son who seems to just soak up information by osmosis through the pores of his skin.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, that's where I've been. But I haven't finished with this darn blogging business yet. And in the meantime, I came up with some answers to some lovely questions from artist, blogger and all-round creative Jodi Wiley.

You can read them on her blog, Art by Wiley, where you can also see a really bad photo of a drawing I did of my son with me and my messy bedroom perfectly reflected in the glass! That's got to be a metaphor for something...

It's BIG and it's beautiful

How exciting to arrive home on Friday afternoon and see this stuffed into my letterbox.

The second issue of 'BIG Kids Magazine' is out now.

I don't know how they do it, but they do... Brilliantly so.

Che & Fidel's Divided Heart

I have been a bit distracted of late, so apologies for the lack of posts.

But while I work my way up to writing the next "real" post, I just thought I'd direct you across to Jodi Wilson's wonderful blog, Che & Fidel. (You probably already know it!)

Jodi has been sweet enough to feature The Divided Heart on her blog this week, and run an interview she conducted with me, all about arting and mothering.

She also has one copy of The Divided Heart to give away -- though the comp ends tomorrow (March 28th), so quick, run don't walk! All you need to do is become a follower of Che & Fidel and leave a comment with your name and email address.

Sorry not to let you know earlier, but you know me... always late.

Lost in Living: A new doco about art and motherhood

Yesterday I got one of those messages in my inbox that makes your heart skip a little beat.

It was a message from American filmmaker Mary Trunk, telling me that my book, The Divided Heart, played a part in helping her develop her now almost completed documentary feature, Lost In Living, which tracks the lives of four women artists.

To cut a long story short, I'll share her words below:

I have spent the last seven years following four mothers who are artists. Two of them I met when they were pregnant (they also happen to be best friends) and the other two are older and have adult children. During this long and fascinating process I was given your book "The Divided Heart", which I found so powerful and moving. I have since been following your blog, which I thoroughly enjoy. Your book is incredibly inspiring and insightful. It helped me figure out the approach to my film, the interview questions over the seven years I documented these women and confirmed that I wasn't completely crazy to make a film about this topic. Thank you!

Going by the initial footage she has released, it is clear that Mary has captured something very raw and honest in her subjects -- with regards to art and mothering, but also female friendship.

As I have since told her, it never ceases to amaze me how common the issues are for women artists -- how the same feelings get expressed time and again, often with the exact same words. I also fully relate to her fear that it might be crazy to document this topic, when so many people tell you it's just a "niche" subject without any great import for the world at large.

It is humbling to know that The Divided Heart has reached the other side of the world and played even a small part in Mary's film.

As she continues through post-production, she is posting short clips on YouTube and her blog, touching on subjects like "What's so great about creativity?" or "Baby and sacrifice: what do you give up?".

I will endeavour to keep you posted about possible screenings of "Lost in Living" here in Australia. Till then, you can watch an extended trailer below: