Yesterday, standing in my neighbour’s kitchen, I idly picked up a copy of Jan Spiller’s Astrology for the Soul. This is the kind of book that I find myself compulsively (if furtively) devouring, much like the women’s magazines in the doctor’s waiting room that somehow find me leaving my much more worthy novel abandoned in my bag.
It is a book not about star signs but about the ‘North Node’, a point formed by the Moon’s orbit around the Earth intersecting with the Earth’s path around the sun (I can hardly believe I’m explaining this). Anyway, the Nodes (there is also a South Node) influence a much greater time span than the astrological houses, i.e. star/sun signs. The North Node seems to relate to finding our life’s purpose and identifying what gets in the way of this. (Apologies to any astrologers out there that have already picked flaws in my explanation.) Whatever you think of astrology, it can provide interesting food for thought.
My North Node is in Capricorn (hello, all those born April 29, 1972—October 27, 1973), and straight away I read something that was a little too close for comfort:
Even in close relationships, these natives are better off maintaining a sense of their own authority—not compromising themselves to appease their partner. For example, I had a client with this nodal position who had tremendous creative energy and a real talent for writing—she was published nationally while still in college. When she married she stopped writing, putting all her energy into emotionally supporting her husband and children.
… Twenty years passed. When her children left home she was filled with resentment toward her husband, blaming him because she hadn’t pursued her writing career. Her husband had actually encouraged her writing, but she projected that her success would have upset him emotionally even though he encouraged her verbally. I had occasion to speak with her husband, and he truly did want her to pursue her career! It even would have helped financially. This story does not have a happy ending: The wife chose to continue blaming others for her sense of failure, which prevented her from actively taking charge of her own life.
... Capricorn North Node people too easily take on an exaggerated “mother” role in personal relationships. … In fact, no one requires the amount of “presence” that these folks tend to provide.
Ouch! That last line particularly spoke to me. Think that might be my first lesson for 2009. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to pulling back from my family and commanding space for my own interests, and as this suggests it is a tendency that risks breeding resentment of the most damaging kind.
Hence, my 5.30 mornings. Yep, three days in and I already love the expansiveness of these quiet mornings that I am carving out for writing, unswamped by other tasks. My darling friend Clare and I have a pact, taking turns to text each other on the dot, so there is no getting out of it. The only challenge is getting to bed early enough the night before (she says as it nears 11pm)…
Happy New Year!